You can't lose what you never had

I've always liked the idea of New Year's resolutions. Making a list of all the things I'd like to achieve by the end of this new year, next summer or another one of the 365 days to come always seemed like a great plan.  I can't exactly tell you, why I haven't learned anything from the past years, where these resolutions were forgotten by the end of February, quickly thought of again right before summer vacation (I'll let you figure that one out by yourself) and then stuck in the back corner of my head for the rest of the year with a little note, to put them on the list for the next year. You might not know that this corner of your head is quite spacious and see-through. This leads to not only giving you the opportunity to store a lot of resolutions, wishes, dreams and goals in there but since it is see-through as well, it reminds you of your failure or unfulfilled dreams whenever you start uncontrolled pondering.

I don't know about you, but I can say for myself, that I am a professional in seeing this huge pile of things I wanted to do, goals I wanted to achieve and steps I told myself to go. To top it all off will I not only be overwhelmed by all the things that are still in front of me but I will mourn the battles I have lost and the resolutions I kept pushing from year to year. 
Recently I was driving home after a long day. While listening to an album that I've had for 18 years I realized for the first time what they were actually singing. It was a cheesy song, nothing special but what stuck out was the chorus where it says: I don't care if you think I'm crazy, It doesn't matter if it turns out bad, I've got no fear of losing you, You can't lose what you never had. 

Deep, I know. But that is not the point here and it's not about the obvious problem with his girlfriend either.

You can't lose what you never had is a phrase that has been stuck in my head since then.

How can I spend precious time mourning things I've never had, battles I've never fought and dreams I've never even tried to achieve?
Instead of wasting my time and thoughts on this corner of my head and complaining about it, I'd rather start cleaning it out and actually beginning one of those fights I'm so afraid of losing. How will I know if I'm gonna fail when I've never even tried? And no, a  2month half-hearted try doesn't count. I mean, come on, that's like wanting to go outside and build a snowman but then deciding to let it go, because your gloves are itchy and you can't find your bobblehat.

What I actually want to say is this: Don't dwell on thoughts about all the things you want if you don't intend to do them!

If it is your New Years resolution to go for a run twice a week - start running.

If your plan for this year is to finally lose those 10pounds then start changing your habits and run.

And if your plan is to finally get a job you actually like, an apartement you feel comfortable in or to explore this country that you've always wanted to see start saving money and go and book an appointment or flight.

And finally, tell the people around you, how you feel about them. If you love them, say it; if you are disappointed, say it; if you're all fire and fury about them, let them know. If you had their friendship before, there's no reason why you shouldn't have it after you shared your feelings with them. And if you didn't, well- You can't lose what you never had.